Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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