Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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