Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
