Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
