So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
