I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
