can we get nightvision for the apartment?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
