While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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