Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
