My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize