cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We need to get me chipped asap
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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