I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
