We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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