she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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