I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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