talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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