Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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