what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
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All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You made out with two different species that night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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