At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
