Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
