We won't sleep together?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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