For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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