Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize