I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
