so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
