I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
