Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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