i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
