"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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