It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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