I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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