I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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