No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
