and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
