nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Your dad touched me again.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
