he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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