you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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