do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
