You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
this is an emotional support booty call
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
