so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize