Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize