so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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