Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
