He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
