I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
