Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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