Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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