I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
