There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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