ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES