Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ