Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  operation "beaches make me wet" is a go

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  (734): operation "beaches make me wet" is a go http://tfl.nu/4jca
  Replies (3) Good night (3171) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

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  (617): my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off http://tfl.nu/ogtq
  Replies (36) Good night (4636) Bad night (1768) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.

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  (240): she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever. http://tfl.nu/656k
  Replies (27) Good night (5659) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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  (443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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  (972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8
  Replies (36) Good night (7209) Bad night (1010)
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (703) Bad night (5969) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (2923) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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  (951): Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper. http://tfl.nu/tu64
  Replies (14) Good night (4597) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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  (580): Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it. http://tfl.nu/0iyi
  Replies (18) Good night (3545) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1069) Bad night (2654) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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  (602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu
  Replies (20) Good night (710) Bad night (4096) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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  (773): Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/cuh5
  Replies (3) Good night (1252) Bad night (542)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.

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  (404): He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump. http://tfl.nu/2ksd
  Replies (7) Good night (441) Bad night (2023) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Dude you were ten when he graduated

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Wahoowaaaaaaa

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  (434): I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement (1-434): Dude you were ten when he graduated (434): Wahoowaaaaaaa http://tfl.nu/vark
  Replies (13) Good night (1144) Bad night (419)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.

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  (563): The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka. http://tfl.nu/9mlx
  Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt

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