why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.