I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I want is dick and wine.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize