I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?