I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
