you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
