You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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