I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
