Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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