And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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