We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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