Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
