do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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