He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
