Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
