Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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