Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
